Years ago, I had a friend who was a hoot to be around.  She was full of life and a little bit crazy and I just adored our friendship.  Once in a while we’d get together and play card games.  No matter who was playing, she would shout out, “Go big or stay home!”  At the time, I thought it was amusing and though I never really understood what it was supposed to mean in the context of the game, the phrase still resonates in my ears, especially when I think about the work I do.  I’ve been a bit reluctant in some ways to become too public, not sure if I wanted to succeed in a way that people would even recognize my name.  I always was afraid that I would then disappoint those people or somehow not live up to their expectation and so it was safer to “stay home.”  I share this with you because many of you may understand this delemma in light of your work as well.  What do we want to share with the world?  Do we want to become a Max Lucado or a Joel Osteen?  Do we really want to become bigger so that more of what we do reaches others?

For whatever reason, it’s dawning on me that even though I do not really aspire to be a Max or a Joel, I definitely aspire to be a Karen.  I aspire to be the  person God created me to be and in that regard, I need to be willing to be all that He meant for me to become.  I need to “go big or stay home” for Him.  It’s not always easy to work out what that means.  I may not actually fulfill the bill quite the way it was planned for me, but it seems to me, I have to be open to His possibility.  I have to be ready to go on a moment’s notice, to speak up when the Spirit nudges me to do so, to speak out in front of others and remind them that God is there, always there.  I need to want to be bigger in the right ways so that the message gets out there using the gifts I’ve been given to do that work.

When I look around, I wonder if I’m doing enough.  The truth is I’m pretty sure I’m not.  The fact is, I’m willing to do more.  I sometimes feel like I’ve gotten myself on a lovely carousel.  Things look good from where I sit.  I love going around and around and feeling confident that I know exactly where I’m going and what the view will look like on the next turn, and yet…I’m not sure I’m actually going where I need to go. Perhaps, I’m not playing big enough. Perhaps I’m not stepping out in faith enough.

I don’t usually opt for true confessions in this blog spot, but I wonder if any of you are in that same space, wondering if it’s time to change things up, take another step, risk it all again.  When you do, you have to fully depend on God because without His help it would all fall apart.  I think God might be suggesting to me at least, if you’re going to be in the game, if you’re going to play, then “Go big or stay home!”

Wherever you are, I invite you to come along.