For years now, I’ve been pining to own a home.  In my fantasy, it’s always full of light, open and airy with lots of windows, bright, clean, contemporary and inviting.  It’s the place that other people want to visit and the sanctuary for my heart and mind and spirit.  It’s a sacred space designed with me in mind.  Alas, the fantasy keeps alluding me as I go from renting one place after another, one more high-rise, one more runner-up in the home category.

I’ve fed this fantasy for so long though that I thought it was certain to happen at some point, but in the last few months things have started to change.  I’m not quite as drawn to the house idea as I once was.  I’m more motivated  to simply make a home out of wherever I land, adapting to the environment, adopting family and friends, and feeling free to move on as the Spirit directs me.  For the first time in a long time, I can look at renting as “owning” a space for a little while and then letting it go.

All of this thinking leads me to realize that in truth it must be the way we “own” anything.  We only get the use of them for a short time and then we move on. After all, even our children grow up and leave us.  Perhaps we only had them as rentals.  Places, people, purchases of all kinds are only temporary at best.

Beyond the physical sense of owning a property, is the idea of “owning” life.  Here’s where I feel extremely blessed.  I may not have been able to own a house or a fancy car or a time-share in Bermuda, but I have been fortunate enough to “own” little spaces in the world.  I’ve gotten to enjoy the vistas of  the Colorado Rockies, the beautiful hillsides of Tennessee, and the glorious gardens of Costa Rica.  When I think about it,  “renting” those moments, participating in meaningful ways to building lasting memories, those are the things I get to own forever.  Those are the “houses” where I store my best things, my favorite sunsets, the gifts that last a lifetime.

It may turn out that I never get into a neighborhood with a white picket fence in a place I can fully call my own.  It may turn out that every experience is just temporary and fleeting, but the blessing comes in realizing that it may just be all for the best.  After all, I know the promise.  I know that someday when the time is right, I’ll have a home, a permanent one, and I’ll be surrounded by a lot of people who love me, and I’ll love them right back.  Maybe it doesn’t really get better than that.

Somebody said that all we have is this moment, all we can really own is right now.  I guess if that’s true then it’s always possible to have a place of your own, a place to call yours no matter where you are.   Sure am glad I get to hang my hat in this home with all of you.  Yes, I am glad to own this very moment.

  1. Priscilla Newman says:

    You always know the right words to say. I wish you all the best in your journey through this wonderful world of ours. Talk to you soon.

    All my love,
    Priscilla

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