Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You?” It started out with the lines, “You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off you, You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much. At long last love has arrived and I thank God I’m alive, You’re just too good to be true, Can’t take my eyes off you.”
You’ve probably had one of those “too good to be true” experiences yourself, but I just encountered one recently and for me, it had an interesting outcome. Any of us who try to connect with others via the social networks like Match.com or eHarmony or others, know that there is a risk involved. If you do it long enough, you get fairly astute at recognizing the players and can quickly move along. Sadly, some players have such a good story, they can actually engage your mind, even if not your heart, long enough to seduce you into thinking everything about them is real.
You’ve probably already guessed that in my experience with this, the “real” became phony fairly quickly when the day after sending flowers to affirm his interest in getting to know each other, my would-be suitor, called to say he’d been mugged and was stranded in his travels in a foreign land and could I just send him enough money to help him while he waited to straighten things out. If you know me, you realize that I genuinely seek the good of others and in this case wanted to help this person, but God intervened. I went totally cold at the request and knew that it was a lie, a total sham. The person was only engaging in correspondence to get to the place of scamming me for money. Now, I want to say he was impressive. He locked into my faith in God and claimed he shared that. He had a deceased wife that even the thought of still caused him pain, and I empathized. He had a son who traveled the world with him because they had no family and I was the first voice of love they had received in a long time. Whew! It was one for the books or maybe a good soap opera! I never knew how awesome I was until I read his unbridled epistles. It was truly amazing. Add that to a beautiful French accent and I was nearly hooked. Maybe God had actually done it. Maybe the person I had prayed for for years finally arrived. I was holding out a tiny ray of hope. Fortunately, I was never truly drawn in and when the request for money came, I just said, “No!”
Now, here’s the part that interests me. It’s not that there are unscrupulous guys who cruise the internet for women to prey on, though I think that is pretty horrible. It’s not that he sent flowers and love letters and turned out to be an absolute lie. It’s that I can’t help praying for him. Here’s a guy that needs God in a big way. I think this is just one more lost soul in a world that is upside down, and though he happened across my path, God protected me, but what about him?
Today, I am writing this for him, the guy who needs to face the truth about himself, needs to get down on his knees and receive a new story from a forgiving God and start again. I can forgive his lies, but in my heart of hearts, I have to ask God to help him see who he is and find his way to the light again. After all, as a believer, that seems like the only response I should have here.
I’m writing a book now about the dating experience for those of us who have been cast out into the system since we were 40 or so. If you have any stories to share, please email me, it might be the best thing I’ve been able to put out there yet. Funny, amazing, unbelievable…how different those stories are for all of us who only seek one thing, a kind and loving partner. I can’t help but keep faith in that idea because it just can’t be “too good to be true.”
Bless you all today!